So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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