I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
