Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
