But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
operation harelip BJ is a go
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
