Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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