take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
