spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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