Pregnant stripper...not hot.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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