He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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