This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
