Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize