is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
