Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
