Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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