She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
