is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
