i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
