There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
