I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
