Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I forget how to act sober
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
