Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
