Life is so much better after having sex.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
