how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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