It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
did i just pee glitter
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
