Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
