I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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