Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
