She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
