I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
