My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
