Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Are we still banned from the library?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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