I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
