Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize