dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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