You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
