I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
