I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize