when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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