Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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