He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
