Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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