just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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