I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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