it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
