wanna go halves on a baby?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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