i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm eating all of the evidence.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
