I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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