We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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