I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
