I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
