hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
tell me about the fingering
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize