how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
