she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
