return my video game
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
