He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
