Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
