What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
