I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
