i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We need to get me chipped asap
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
